May was National Foster Care Month, and even though it is the last day of the month, I would like to take the opportunity to share something with you to honor and celebrate the wonderfully emotional world that is foster care.
A few weeks ago, Ian and I had the pleasure of attending the ceremony honoring this year's Foster Mother of the Year. At the ceremony, another foster Mom by the name of Jennie Sheperd, got up and read a poem that she had written about her feelings concerning being a foster Mom. I thought it was beautiful and touching, and pretty much sums up how I feel and why I consider myself to lead such an "emotional life".
Foster care has changed my life forever, and I know it touches the hearts and lives of thousands, if not millions, of others every day. Here's to you.
"I cried today......."
I cried for a two year old missing his mother, who has no idea why his world was turned upside down.
I cried today......
I cried because I raised my voice at a teenager who doesn't understand that it's not okay to take out his frustrations on younger children.
I cried today.....
I cried because there are three kids who don't know why their mom didn't show up for their scheduled visit.
I cried today.....
I cried because I want to take away the pain, but I don't know how.
I cried today......
I cried out of exhaustion and because I'm not positive I can do it all.
It's okay to cry. I can do it. They will have their needs met. I can love them more........because I cried today.
~Jennie Sheperd
May God bless you foster parents who are diligently working to help a child in need, and may God watch over all of the children currently in foster care. May you soon find loving parents who are strong enough to cry for you every single day!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Summertime
Dear Summer,
On behalf of my outside baby, we THANK YOU for finally making an appearance. We couldn't be more happy to see you!
We LOVE you Summer!!
On behalf of my outside baby, we THANK YOU for finally making an appearance. We couldn't be more happy to see you!
We LOVE you Summer!!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Happy 'Ian'niversary!
May 25, 2010 was one of the most special days of our little family's whole life. Not only was it me and Mike's 10th wedding anniversary, but it was the day that we were given to go to court and FINALLY be able to adopt our sweet baby Ian.
It was our "Ian"niversary.
We woke up that morning feeling like it was the best Christmas morning of all time! We were filled with excitement and anticipation, but also peace and calmness. This was the day we had waited so many months, and even years for, and we were ready!
It was a beautiful morning. After several days of rain and snow, we woke to a bright sun and a warm breeze. We opened the windows to listen to the sounds of the morning coming alive, and tried to soak in all of the feelings we were experiencing. My wonderful Mikey and I were able to spend some quiet and reflective moments together before Ian woke up. We took our time getting ready, and as we did, we talked about our family, the miracles that had brought us to this day, and the love that had begun 10 years earlier. It was a special and sweet couple of hours - our last as a just a couple. Very, very soon we were going to be a family!
We arrived at the courthouse about 30 minutes early. Our friend Duston Todd met us there to take some photos for us. We have known Duston since we were kids, and we were SO grateful that he was able to be there with us to create beautiful images of our beautiful day. (I promise to post the pics as soon as I can - I know they are going to be amazing!)
After the photos, we went inside to meet with our attorney. When we rounded the corner, and entered the hallway leading up to our courtroom, we were met by a sea of loving friends and family.
There were more than 30 people there to support us and our little family. It was very humbling, and we felt honored to be so loved! Our big and loving family is one of the many reasons Ian's birth Mom "E" knew that he needed to be with us. She knew that he would not only have two extremely loving parents, but he would have a small army of family to love and cherish him for the rest of his life. It was a great moment, and one I hope Ian will treasure when he is old enough to understand.
We met with our attorney and our caseworker for a few moments in a small conference room to go over some last minute paperwork. Then it was time.
One by one, our troops filed into the courtroom of the honorable Judge Andrew Valdez. He is the same judge who has presided over all the hearings in our case, and knows us well. We LOVE him and are so grateful he was the one picked to fight for our son and help us become a family. He is a great man!
Mike and I had been in this courtroom several times before, and each of those times has held a lot of emotion for us. This day was probably the most emotional of all of them for us, but for far better reasons. This time, instead of taking our usual seats in the audience, Mike and I took our seats next to our attorney. We grabbed each others hands, offered a quick smile, and held on tightly as the proceedings began.
We were sworn in and Judge Valdez then asked everyone in the audience to stand, state their names, and say how they were related to our little family. My tears started quietly falling as I watched one beloved family member or friend after another, stand and proudly announce "I am Ian's Grandma/Grandpa", "I am Ian's Aunt/Uncle", "I am Ian's cousin" or "we are dear friends of this wonderful family". We are SO blessed. Thank you everyone who was there with us that day. We could certainly feel your love!
Then the questions began. We were asked several questions pertaining to our age, our financial stability, our relationship, etc. but the one I remember the most was the question of "Do you accept this child as your own natural child"? We were asked if we would love him and care for him as if he were our own. Through tears and sobs, we of course said YES! In our hearts, he has been our own child since he was born, but that day it was finally going to become legal. The relief began flooding in - and with it, the tears.
I couldn't contain my emotions as our attorney asked us to explain how we have bonded with our son and what having him in our home these past 16 months has been like. How do I put that into words? The feelings I have for this amazing son of mine go so deep, that you have to look at my soul in order to fully understand. How was I going to condense that into a brief answer for of a courtroom full of people?
I think what came out of my mouth was something like this. "It is hard to be a foster parent, because I felt that he was my son from the first moment I saw him, and yet I didn't know what the outcome would be then. He has brought so much into our lives and our family and we love him SO much! (Ian was by now off my lap and playing with our neighbors kids and our nephews, so I added...) As you can see, everyone loves him and he has been a huge and important part of our family all along. We just love him." That probably isn't exactly what I said, or really even all that close, but so much was racing through my heart at that moment that I am just glad I was able to get anything out!!
Next it was time for our cute caseworker Tim to testify to what he observed over his time with our family. He was very sweet and mentioned how "the love and the bond between Ian and us was obvious." It was very touching.
Judge Valdez then read through our petition, stated his findings, and announced that Ian was now our son.
It was a beautiful, beautiful moment - one I will certainly NEVER forget!!
My husband put it best, so I am going to steal a little excerpt from his own blog and paraphrase for you a little bit about what May 25 means to our family.
"Ten years ago to the day, my “Beautiful Bride” and I uttered two small phrases, “I Do” and we became one unit - a Mr. and a Mrs...
...I am honored to have such a great, wonderful person by my side. Someone to hold hands with and enjoy the ride as we travel through the adventure of life. And yet today as we celebrate our 10th anniversary, our adventure is beginning yet again. Together the two of us will stand in front of many to utter the same two small phrases, “I Do.” To which our unit of two will become three."
I couldn't have said it any better! Happy "Ian"niversary Babe!!!
It was our "Ian"niversary.
We woke up that morning feeling like it was the best Christmas morning of all time! We were filled with excitement and anticipation, but also peace and calmness. This was the day we had waited so many months, and even years for, and we were ready!
It was a beautiful morning. After several days of rain and snow, we woke to a bright sun and a warm breeze. We opened the windows to listen to the sounds of the morning coming alive, and tried to soak in all of the feelings we were experiencing. My wonderful Mikey and I were able to spend some quiet and reflective moments together before Ian woke up. We took our time getting ready, and as we did, we talked about our family, the miracles that had brought us to this day, and the love that had begun 10 years earlier. It was a special and sweet couple of hours - our last as a just a couple. Very, very soon we were going to be a family!
We arrived at the courthouse about 30 minutes early. Our friend Duston Todd met us there to take some photos for us. We have known Duston since we were kids, and we were SO grateful that he was able to be there with us to create beautiful images of our beautiful day. (I promise to post the pics as soon as I can - I know they are going to be amazing!)
After the photos, we went inside to meet with our attorney. When we rounded the corner, and entered the hallway leading up to our courtroom, we were met by a sea of loving friends and family.
There were more than 30 people there to support us and our little family. It was very humbling, and we felt honored to be so loved! Our big and loving family is one of the many reasons Ian's birth Mom "E" knew that he needed to be with us. She knew that he would not only have two extremely loving parents, but he would have a small army of family to love and cherish him for the rest of his life. It was a great moment, and one I hope Ian will treasure when he is old enough to understand. We met with our attorney and our caseworker for a few moments in a small conference room to go over some last minute paperwork. Then it was time.
One by one, our troops filed into the courtroom of the honorable Judge Andrew Valdez. He is the same judge who has presided over all the hearings in our case, and knows us well. We LOVE him and are so grateful he was the one picked to fight for our son and help us become a family. He is a great man!
Mike and I had been in this courtroom several times before, and each of those times has held a lot of emotion for us. This day was probably the most emotional of all of them for us, but for far better reasons. This time, instead of taking our usual seats in the audience, Mike and I took our seats next to our attorney. We grabbed each others hands, offered a quick smile, and held on tightly as the proceedings began.
We were sworn in and Judge Valdez then asked everyone in the audience to stand, state their names, and say how they were related to our little family. My tears started quietly falling as I watched one beloved family member or friend after another, stand and proudly announce "I am Ian's Grandma/Grandpa", "I am Ian's Aunt/Uncle", "I am Ian's cousin" or "we are dear friends of this wonderful family". We are SO blessed. Thank you everyone who was there with us that day. We could certainly feel your love!
Then the questions began. We were asked several questions pertaining to our age, our financial stability, our relationship, etc. but the one I remember the most was the question of "Do you accept this child as your own natural child"? We were asked if we would love him and care for him as if he were our own. Through tears and sobs, we of course said YES! In our hearts, he has been our own child since he was born, but that day it was finally going to become legal. The relief began flooding in - and with it, the tears.
I couldn't contain my emotions as our attorney asked us to explain how we have bonded with our son and what having him in our home these past 16 months has been like. How do I put that into words? The feelings I have for this amazing son of mine go so deep, that you have to look at my soul in order to fully understand. How was I going to condense that into a brief answer for of a courtroom full of people?
I think what came out of my mouth was something like this. "It is hard to be a foster parent, because I felt that he was my son from the first moment I saw him, and yet I didn't know what the outcome would be then. He has brought so much into our lives and our family and we love him SO much! (Ian was by now off my lap and playing with our neighbors kids and our nephews, so I added...) As you can see, everyone loves him and he has been a huge and important part of our family all along. We just love him." That probably isn't exactly what I said, or really even all that close, but so much was racing through my heart at that moment that I am just glad I was able to get anything out!!
Next it was time for our cute caseworker Tim to testify to what he observed over his time with our family. He was very sweet and mentioned how "the love and the bond between Ian and us was obvious." It was very touching.
Judge Valdez then read through our petition, stated his findings, and announced that Ian was now our son.
It was a beautiful, beautiful moment - one I will certainly NEVER forget!!
My husband put it best, so I am going to steal a little excerpt from his own blog and paraphrase for you a little bit about what May 25 means to our family.
"Ten years ago to the day, my “Beautiful Bride” and I uttered two small phrases, “I Do” and we became one unit - a Mr. and a Mrs...
...I am honored to have such a great, wonderful person by my side. Someone to hold hands with and enjoy the ride as we travel through the adventure of life. And yet today as we celebrate our 10th anniversary, our adventure is beginning yet again. Together the two of us will stand in front of many to utter the same two small phrases, “I Do.” To which our unit of two will become three."
I couldn't have said it any better! Happy "Ian"niversary Babe!!!
Welcome
Welcome to our blog, and thanks for taking the time to check us out. My name is Shelly and you should know that I love blogging. I have found this to be such an amazing outlet and a very therapeutic way for me to express myself, and "my emotional life". I have gained a lot of support and ideas through my online friends, and it is my hope that through blogging, I can pay some of that back and offer you some enjoyment or support of your own.
Let me tell you a little bit about our story.
This is me and my hubby - we are Mike and Shelly.
We met while working together at a sandwich shop. We quickly fell in love, and after dating for almost six years, we were married in May of 2000. We have a very loving, happy, and fun relationship. We are truly best friends and would rather be together than anywhere else. We work hard at communicating well, keeping our days full of love and laughter, and keeping our love not only alive, but thriving!
Not long after we were married, we discovered that we suffer from somewhat unexplained infertility. We do have some underlying issues, but have been told that we "should" be able to get pregnant. Easier said than done, apparently.
We had fun trying to get pregnant at first - who wouldn't, right? But very soon it became a very trying, disappointing, and painful experience. Surgery, fertility drugs, mood altering hormone therapies, and failed IUI's, just to name a few of our heartaches, led us to some tough decisions on whether or not we were even "meant" to be parents, and if so, how were we going to bring our children to our family?
It was almost six years into our journey to become parents, when Mike (in all his infinite wisdom=) brought up the idea of becoming foster parents. We prayed, considered, and thought about it a quite a bit before we finally felt like this was a good idea for us. Turns out, it was a GREAT choice for our family! Exactly nine months later, our son was born and placed in our home. (He was our second placement. Our first little guy having been reunified with his birth mother and taking a little part of our hearts with him forever!)
Our son Ian came to live in our home and in our hearts at just three weeks old, a tiny bundle of pure miracle! He has brought so much love with him and we are truly blessed to be his Mom and Dad!
When Ian was just 7 months old, his birth mother "E" made the very painful decision to relinquish her rights, knowing he was our son and was meant to be with us. She is such an amazing woman, and wanted more for him than she could give. We owe her so much and without her, we wouldn't be a family. (We are able to enjoy an open relationship with her still, and are so grateful to have her as a part of our family, and to have our son know and love her throughout his life as well.)
After her extremely courageous and life-altering decision was made, we naively believed we were home free - NOT SO. We then faced a long and emotional battle through the Court of Appeals over termination of birth Father's rights. It was the most terrifying thing we have ever been through, and one we hope to NEVER experience again!
However, at long last, we were finally able to adopt our son and make him ours forever. It was such a beautiful and emotional day, filled with love and support from many friends and family - a day we will surely never forget.
The day was May 25, 2010 - it was our 10th wedding anniversary.
We believe very strongly that there was some divine intervention in the formation of our little family, and that we were always meant to be together. . .
and then there were three.
PART TWO:
Shortly after our son Ian turned two, we called our case worker and asked her to put us on the waiting list to take foster placements again. We wanted Ian to have a sibling and felt it was time.
The waiting periods for our first two foster placements were relatively short, but this time, we were on the waiting list for over five months before we got the call that an almost three month old baby boy needed us. Of course, we said yes!
It was apparent, from almost the very beginning, that this was not going to be a permanent placement. Knowing that, however, did nothing to stop all of us from falling absolutely head over heels in love with this little boy!
We tried to prepare Ian as much as we could, but it was still so hard for him to understand why "his baby" couldn't stay with us forever. We cried a lot and loved a lot, and just tried to enjoy him for as long as we could.
A few months into his time with us, we started talking about adopting privately, so that Ian could have a sibling that could stay with him forever. We thought about it a lot and knew we wanted more children, but we couldn't keep putting our Ian through the pain and uncertainty that came with foster care.
In October of 2011, I was talking on the phone with our attorney, about another matter entirely, when I just happened to mention that we were thinking of adopting again. He told me that he was meeting with a pregnant woman two days later and if we could get a profile to him before then, he would add it to the ones he had prepared to show her. We hurriedly put one together and got it to him.
A couple of weeks later, having been notified that out of those profiles, we were the only family that the "pregnant woman" had asked to meet, we first met "K". She was 7 months pregnant with a baby boy, and was looking for the right family to raise him as their own. We loved her immediately! Over the course of the next couple of months, we got to know each other and realize that we were a family, and had been destined to find each other.
On December 29, 2011, around 9:00 p.m. (and incidentally, just minutes after the final guest from my baby shower had left=) I received the call that "K" was in labor. I lost my mind for a bit, scrambling as fast as I could to pack some things for Ian, and get him to my sister so he could spend the night there. Our baby was coming, and ahead of schedule!
We raced to the hospital and were there when our precious second son Logan was born. We were able to spend the days following his birth in the hospital with him and our beautiful "K". Those are precious days that I will remember forever.
Words cannot express how grateful I am for adoption, for the two miracles that are now mine because of it, nor the two beautiful women who brought my sons to me. My life is richly blessed!
and then there were four.
Let me tell you a little bit about our story.
This is me and my hubby - we are Mike and Shelly.
We met while working together at a sandwich shop. We quickly fell in love, and after dating for almost six years, we were married in May of 2000. We have a very loving, happy, and fun relationship. We are truly best friends and would rather be together than anywhere else. We work hard at communicating well, keeping our days full of love and laughter, and keeping our love not only alive, but thriving!Not long after we were married, we discovered that we suffer from somewhat unexplained infertility. We do have some underlying issues, but have been told that we "should" be able to get pregnant. Easier said than done, apparently.
We had fun trying to get pregnant at first - who wouldn't, right? But very soon it became a very trying, disappointing, and painful experience. Surgery, fertility drugs, mood altering hormone therapies, and failed IUI's, just to name a few of our heartaches, led us to some tough decisions on whether or not we were even "meant" to be parents, and if so, how were we going to bring our children to our family?
It was almost six years into our journey to become parents, when Mike (in all his infinite wisdom=) brought up the idea of becoming foster parents. We prayed, considered, and thought about it a quite a bit before we finally felt like this was a good idea for us. Turns out, it was a GREAT choice for our family! Exactly nine months later, our son was born and placed in our home. (He was our second placement. Our first little guy having been reunified with his birth mother and taking a little part of our hearts with him forever!)
Our son Ian came to live in our home and in our hearts at just three weeks old, a tiny bundle of pure miracle! He has brought so much love with him and we are truly blessed to be his Mom and Dad! When Ian was just 7 months old, his birth mother "E" made the very painful decision to relinquish her rights, knowing he was our son and was meant to be with us. She is such an amazing woman, and wanted more for him than she could give. We owe her so much and without her, we wouldn't be a family. (We are able to enjoy an open relationship with her still, and are so grateful to have her as a part of our family, and to have our son know and love her throughout his life as well.)
After her extremely courageous and life-altering decision was made, we naively believed we were home free - NOT SO. We then faced a long and emotional battle through the Court of Appeals over termination of birth Father's rights. It was the most terrifying thing we have ever been through, and one we hope to NEVER experience again!
However, at long last, we were finally able to adopt our son and make him ours forever. It was such a beautiful and emotional day, filled with love and support from many friends and family - a day we will surely never forget.
The day was May 25, 2010 - it was our 10th wedding anniversary.
We believe very strongly that there was some divine intervention in the formation of our little family, and that we were always meant to be together. . .
and then there were three.
PART TWO:
Shortly after our son Ian turned two, we called our case worker and asked her to put us on the waiting list to take foster placements again. We wanted Ian to have a sibling and felt it was time.
The waiting periods for our first two foster placements were relatively short, but this time, we were on the waiting list for over five months before we got the call that an almost three month old baby boy needed us. Of course, we said yes!
It was apparent, from almost the very beginning, that this was not going to be a permanent placement. Knowing that, however, did nothing to stop all of us from falling absolutely head over heels in love with this little boy!
We tried to prepare Ian as much as we could, but it was still so hard for him to understand why "his baby" couldn't stay with us forever. We cried a lot and loved a lot, and just tried to enjoy him for as long as we could.
A few months into his time with us, we started talking about adopting privately, so that Ian could have a sibling that could stay with him forever. We thought about it a lot and knew we wanted more children, but we couldn't keep putting our Ian through the pain and uncertainty that came with foster care.
In October of 2011, I was talking on the phone with our attorney, about another matter entirely, when I just happened to mention that we were thinking of adopting again. He told me that he was meeting with a pregnant woman two days later and if we could get a profile to him before then, he would add it to the ones he had prepared to show her. We hurriedly put one together and got it to him.
A couple of weeks later, having been notified that out of those profiles, we were the only family that the "pregnant woman" had asked to meet, we first met "K". She was 7 months pregnant with a baby boy, and was looking for the right family to raise him as their own. We loved her immediately! Over the course of the next couple of months, we got to know each other and realize that we were a family, and had been destined to find each other.
On December 29, 2011, around 9:00 p.m. (and incidentally, just minutes after the final guest from my baby shower had left=) I received the call that "K" was in labor. I lost my mind for a bit, scrambling as fast as I could to pack some things for Ian, and get him to my sister so he could spend the night there. Our baby was coming, and ahead of schedule!
We raced to the hospital and were there when our precious second son Logan was born. We were able to spend the days following his birth in the hospital with him and our beautiful "K". Those are precious days that I will remember forever.
Words cannot express how grateful I am for adoption, for the two miracles that are now mine because of it, nor the two beautiful women who brought my sons to me. My life is richly blessed!
and then there were four.
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