Flashback Friday's ~ This idea began one day while I was perusing through some of my old posts on a private blog we had set up for friends and family while our son was in foster care.
A lot of really wonderful things happened to our little family while we had our private blog set up, so every now and then, I am going to re-post some of those wonderful memories. I hope you will enjoy looking back at them as much as I do!
This time of year is very special for me because it was this time of year that I first met my son. Every winter, since first meeting him, has reminded me so much of our first snowy days together. Each time I bundle up to go outside, and feel the bitter bite of cold in the air, a rush of memories come flooding in and take me back to this time two years ago. To peaceful days of holding my precious new baby, bundled up inside our warm house, while the cold and snowy world outside went on without us. In fact, it sometimes feels like I am actually back in that winter and the past two springs, summers and falls never even happened. It feels like it was just yesterday, but it also feels like I have known him forever.
I think my heart has=)
Today's post is another memory from the journey to meet my son, but this one happened just one winter ago. At this time last year, we were awaiting a decision on the appeal that Ian's birth father had filed on our case. It was a very stressful time for our family, full of worry and fear. So today, in honor of our struggle to be the family that we were always meant to be, I bring you... Finally.
I think my heart has=)
Today's post is another memory from the journey to meet my son, but this one happened just one winter ago. At this time last year, we were awaiting a decision on the appeal that Ian's birth father had filed on our case. It was a very stressful time for our family, full of worry and fear. So today, in honor of our struggle to be the family that we were always meant to be, I bring you... Finally.
"Finally..." - originally posted
February 1, 2010
As you have all heard by now, our battle to keep Ian is coming to an end...FINALLY!!! We are SO relieved that this will soon be behind us and he will be legally ours forever!!
I didn't realize how stressed I was about this situation until I found out it was over. I truly believed in my heart that we would end up together, but there was always that nagging fear... the what if's? I thought those fears were buried pretty deep within myself, but last Friday morning I found that they were right there below the surface, waiting to be released. Finally!!
Let me tell you how it happened...
A couple of weeks ago, I called the Court of Appeals to see if I could get an update. I knew that our attorney's office was checking in periodically, but I hadn't heard anything in a while, so I wanted to see what information I could get on my own. I was told that I could check the docket for our case on the Court of Appeals website. I wasn't listed as a party on the appeal so the only thing I could see was if any activity had been entered. As you can imagine, I had been checking the website every single day since.
Last Friday morning, around 7:30 a.m., I checked it as usual. My heart started pounding as I read the following words, "Per curiam decision". A DECISION had been made!!!! I frantically typed out an email to our attorney's assistant asking her to look into it and find out what had been decided, and then I called Mike - at work. Yes, usually he is home on Friday's and on any other week, he would have been home when I saw this. However, this was the ONE week that he had some training and had to go into the office on Friday. I knew his training started at 8:00, so I called him before he went in to tell him what I had found. I told him that I would text him as soon as I knew anything, and that was all I could do. I am sure he was pretty restless that morning!=)
I, on the other hand, was not restless. I was EXTREMELY restless, anxious, nervous, antsy, jittery... you get the picture. After about an hour and a half, with no word back from the attorney's office, I called the Court of Appeals. I could not wait one more minute. If I didn't get an answer that day, I was going to have to wait until Monday, and I think that literally might have given me a heart attack! Luckily, unlike the District Court, the Court of Appeals is open on Friday's, so I got to talk to a live person. I said, "I know you can't give me a lot of information, but how can I find out what the decision was, besides going through my attorney?" She said, "Oh, those decisions are public record. If you have the case number, you can just look it up online and read it."
WHAT??????????
After two and a half months of waiting for this decision, I was only a few key strokes away from our answer. My fingers were shaking as I looked it up.
As the words came up onto my computer screen, I realized that I was reading the actual court document stating everything about the appeal - what was being contested, how the court was ruling on it and why, and all in the legal wording of the court.
I will admit that the first time I read it, most of the words were lost on me as I was just searching for the words I had been waiting to hear. I had to go back and read it again later to fully see what had been written.
My eyes started scanning the words - like I said, most of them just fluff that was in my way. However, a lot of them did register... the part about what the birth father was contesting, and how the court was ruling. Especially the part about how Ian should be allowed "an opportunity to establish a meaningful relationship with loving, responsible parents." And the paragraph about us, that spoke of how we had been raising him as our own from almost birth, and how he had formed attachments to us, and been integrated into our family. It was pretty powerful to read those words. And then the words I needed...
"Accordingly, the termination of Father's parental rights is affirmed."
I broke out in sobs as I read those words. It was over. "The termination of Father's parental rights is affirmed." No more fighting, no more waiting, no more what if's? Ian is going to be OURS!!!
As the floodgates of emotion opened up, Ian looked up at me from where he had been playing on the floor and started giggling. He crawled over to my feet and looked up at me with a huge grin. I was making A LOT of noise sobbing, and he thought I was laughing and wanting to play. I picked him up and hugged him tight. When I pulled back a few seconds later, he looked in my eyes with a very somber expression. In all his infinite wisdom, he could feel that I was not laughing, and he knew what I needed. He, my boy who is too busy to cuddle unless he is sleepy, leaned his little face close to mine and laid his head on my shoulder. He let me hold him for several minutes and just cry.
Yeah...no words can describe that moment.
And Daddy finally got his text. "WE WON!!!"
After waiting a lifetime for this little man, our wait is finally over. Can you believe it?
FINALLY...
As you have all heard by now, our battle to keep Ian is coming to an end...FINALLY!!! We are SO relieved that this will soon be behind us and he will be legally ours forever!!
I didn't realize how stressed I was about this situation until I found out it was over. I truly believed in my heart that we would end up together, but there was always that nagging fear... the what if's? I thought those fears were buried pretty deep within myself, but last Friday morning I found that they were right there below the surface, waiting to be released. Finally!!
Let me tell you how it happened...
A couple of weeks ago, I called the Court of Appeals to see if I could get an update. I knew that our attorney's office was checking in periodically, but I hadn't heard anything in a while, so I wanted to see what information I could get on my own. I was told that I could check the docket for our case on the Court of Appeals website. I wasn't listed as a party on the appeal so the only thing I could see was if any activity had been entered. As you can imagine, I had been checking the website every single day since.
Last Friday morning, around 7:30 a.m., I checked it as usual. My heart started pounding as I read the following words, "Per curiam decision". A DECISION had been made!!!! I frantically typed out an email to our attorney's assistant asking her to look into it and find out what had been decided, and then I called Mike - at work. Yes, usually he is home on Friday's and on any other week, he would have been home when I saw this. However, this was the ONE week that he had some training and had to go into the office on Friday. I knew his training started at 8:00, so I called him before he went in to tell him what I had found. I told him that I would text him as soon as I knew anything, and that was all I could do. I am sure he was pretty restless that morning!=)
I, on the other hand, was not restless. I was EXTREMELY restless, anxious, nervous, antsy, jittery... you get the picture. After about an hour and a half, with no word back from the attorney's office, I called the Court of Appeals. I could not wait one more minute. If I didn't get an answer that day, I was going to have to wait until Monday, and I think that literally might have given me a heart attack! Luckily, unlike the District Court, the Court of Appeals is open on Friday's, so I got to talk to a live person. I said, "I know you can't give me a lot of information, but how can I find out what the decision was, besides going through my attorney?" She said, "Oh, those decisions are public record. If you have the case number, you can just look it up online and read it."
WHAT??????????
After two and a half months of waiting for this decision, I was only a few key strokes away from our answer. My fingers were shaking as I looked it up.
As the words came up onto my computer screen, I realized that I was reading the actual court document stating everything about the appeal - what was being contested, how the court was ruling on it and why, and all in the legal wording of the court.
I will admit that the first time I read it, most of the words were lost on me as I was just searching for the words I had been waiting to hear. I had to go back and read it again later to fully see what had been written.
My eyes started scanning the words - like I said, most of them just fluff that was in my way. However, a lot of them did register... the part about what the birth father was contesting, and how the court was ruling. Especially the part about how Ian should be allowed "an opportunity to establish a meaningful relationship with loving, responsible parents." And the paragraph about us, that spoke of how we had been raising him as our own from almost birth, and how he had formed attachments to us, and been integrated into our family. It was pretty powerful to read those words. And then the words I needed...
"Accordingly, the termination of Father's parental rights is affirmed."
I broke out in sobs as I read those words. It was over. "The termination of Father's parental rights is affirmed." No more fighting, no more waiting, no more what if's? Ian is going to be OURS!!!
As the floodgates of emotion opened up, Ian looked up at me from where he had been playing on the floor and started giggling. He crawled over to my feet and looked up at me with a huge grin. I was making A LOT of noise sobbing, and he thought I was laughing and wanting to play. I picked him up and hugged him tight. When I pulled back a few seconds later, he looked in my eyes with a very somber expression. In all his infinite wisdom, he could feel that I was not laughing, and he knew what I needed. He, my boy who is too busy to cuddle unless he is sleepy, leaned his little face close to mine and laid his head on my shoulder. He let me hold him for several minutes and just cry.
Yeah...no words can describe that moment.
And Daddy finally got his text. "WE WON!!!"
After waiting a lifetime for this little man, our wait is finally over. Can you believe it?
FINALLY...
