Flashback Friday: Mama

Flashback Friday's ~ This idea began one day while I was perusing through some of my old posts on a private blog we had set up for friends and family while our son was in foster care.

A lot of really wonderful things happened to our little family while we had our private blog set up, so every now and then, I am going to re-post some of those wonderful memories. I hope you will enjoy looking back at them as much as I do!

 Today's flashback post was written exactly one year ago this week.  My, what a difference a year makes!  Last year at this time, my heart was filled with a trememdous amount of fear.  I am so very grateful that this year my heart is filled with peace. 

I love you Mom!

"Mama" - originally posted

March 8, 2010

Most of what I write about on this blog has to do with one of my favorite topics... Motherhood.

Today will be no different.  Only this time it won't be about me - it will be about...

my MAMA.

This is my beautiful Mama.

I think that much of my desire to be a Mother came from having had one of the best Mom's ever put on this earth.  She has always been my biggest supporter.  She has always been there for me, even when she didn't always agree with me.  I have always known love, safety, and protection from my Mom. She has worked so hard to give me my every desire, and loves me completely and with no restraint.

I like to think that I was a good baby, and even a good child.  However, I wasn't an easy teenager, as most girls probably aren't, and my poor Mama received the brunt of most of those bad behaviors.

I am sorry Mama.

I have tried to make up for some of that by being a better woman than I was a teenager.  I do that by trying to be like my Mom.  She is kind, loyal, sympathetic, patient, giving, caring, loving... I could go on and on, really.

Mama, I love you more than I could ever put into words.  I am the woman and the Mom I am today because I was taught how to be one from you.  You have held my hand and my heart, and cried tears of pain with me as we waited for little Ian to come into our lives.  I love how you share in my excitement and rejoice with me over his every accomplishment.  I see how much you love him simply by the way you look into his tiny face - much like the way you look into mine.  I thank God that He sent me to you and that my Ian now has you for his Grandma!!

Last week, my sweet Mama was diagnosed with breast cancer.  My whole world was changed in an instant with just a few scary words.

I held my breath for several days.  Today, I was able to breathe again. 

My Mom met today with her surgeon.  He assured her that things are looking really good.  The cancer was caught early, and is still pretty small.  She will have an MRI this Friday to make sure that there isn't anything else hiding in there that wasn't found on the mammogram, then it is surgery a week later.  If they can get it all, she probably won't need any further treatment.  They may do radiation if they can't get it all, and if the MRI shows more, they may suggest chemo. I guess we will know more after Friday, but all in all, today was great news!! 

Mama, I know how strong you are, and I KNOW we will beat this.  When you first told me the news, my first instinct was "that's okay - we can beat cancer."  I felt very calm and very sure that all would be okay.  It wasn't until my "worrier" mind kicked in a few seconds later (which I get thanks to you BTW=) that I really started to fall apart.  But I am here for you Mama, for whatever you may need, and I will really try to be strong for you. 

I am ashamed that it has taken a scare like this to remind me that I need to be a better daughter for you. I will never let an "I Love You Mama" or a "Want to go to lunch?" pass by again.  If you thought I bugged you a lot before, you just wait!!=)  I will pray every day that you can stay here as my Mama for many, many, many years to come.  I need you!!  We still have many more chapters left in our adventure!

I LOVE YOU MAMA!!

(And for those of you who know me well, you know that I am not one to let any grass grow beneath my feet...I have already formed "Team Bonnie" to participate in "The Race for the Cure"  this coming May 8.  If you would like more information on joining our team, or how to donate on our behalf, please leave me a comment and I will get the info to you.  Thanks!) 

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Update:

I am extremely happy to report that as of today, my Mom is cancer free and doing great!  Also, we are once again forming a team to walk in the Race for the Cure in her honor, so if you would like to get more information or to donate to our team, please go here .

THANKS!!