Flashback Friday: Court

Before I get to my Flashback post, I want to take a moment to wish a very Happy Birthday to my nephew Parker.  He will be 7 tomorrow.  I love you buddy and I hope you have a great day!!!

now...

Flashback Friday's ~ This idea began one day while I was perusing through some of my old posts on a private blog we had set up for friends and family while our son was in foster care.

A lot of really wonderful things happened to our little family while we had our private blog set up, so every now and then, I am going to re-post some of those wonderful memories. I hope you will enjoy looking back at them as much as I do!

This post was written a year ago, and I cannot believe the incredible things that have happened since then.  Even though it is hard to think that this was an entire year ago, I can still remember the fear, like it was just yesterday.  That is something I don't think I will ever forget!!  The fear of losing my baby was indescribable and all-consuming - something I hope I never have to live through again!!!  However, some of the finer details have faded in time, so I am glad to have a written account of it to help me remember everything about that day.  Anyway, here is an account of one little part of our story...

"Court" - originally posted 

October 13, 2009

Have you ever had a moment which makes you so anxious, and so fearful that you have to consciously will yourself to breathe because your brain seems to have actually forgotten how? 

I did... today.  Starting at approximately 2:45 p.m.

Today was the trial.  We were scheduled to start at 2:15 and if any of you have dealt with the court system before, you will not be surprised to hear that we actually did not get started until closer to 3:00p.m.  When we got there, we were told from BF's attorney that he told her he wanted to voluntarily relinquish his rights.  Ahhhhhh... sigh of relief, right?  Wrong.  It didn't quite happen that way.  When he actually did show up (30 minutes late, but just in the nick of time since the court was running late) he informed his attorney that he no longer felt that way.  Just what we were afraid to hear.  He wanted to fight it.

So we went forward with the trial.  BF was put on the stand and for two plus hours stumbled over dates and contradictions only to paint a picture for himself that was not very flattering. 

Then I was called to the stand.  Yes, I had to testify in an actual trial!  I was scared, but when the attorney general told us that one of us would need to testify, I just knew I had to do it.  9 months ago when I looked into this face,

I made a promise - a promise that he would NEVER have to fight alone again.  I promised him that I would always be there for him and as long as I was breathing I would fight for him with all that I had.  And today that is what I tried to do.

I answered questions about our life and how Ian's life is with us.  I made it until the end before I got emotional, but I couldn't hold it in anymore.  Mike was so encouraging and said I did a great job,
but since it is now kind of a blur to me, I will have to
take his word for it=)

There were several times where my "fear meter" went into hyper drive as the judge seemed to be going down a path I did not want him to go down.  All I could do was hang onto Mike's arm and hand for support and offer silent prayer after silent prayer.

Finally, our judge made his ruling.  I have to say that I have SO much respect for this man and I know he is doing what he was born to do.  He takes his job very seriously and explores EVERY avenue before making the best decision.  Even though he has never actually met our son, we knew he would make the decision that was best for him.  The judge found several reasons why BF's parental rights should be terminated, and even made a comment about the drastic differences in my testimony versus the BF's.  However, he was very nice to BF and offered him encouragement and advice.  Then, the words that opened the floodgates...

BF's rights were permanently terminated and we will now be free to adopt our sweet baby Ian.  HOORAY!!!!  (Before I go on, I should mention that there is still a 15 day waiting period for the appeal process and before we can file our paperwork, but the case worker said with how much detail was covered in court, BF would have no grounds for appeal.  Hopefully he is right!)

So as for tonight, we are breathing much easier and so happy we can't even begin to describe our emotions.  The wait for this amazing boy has been a long one, but SO worth every ounce of pain and anguish. 

I love you to the ends of the earth and back again MY LITTLE SON!!!